Adulting, Uncategorized

Clarification

Thanks for clearing that up…:

Wow.  Flabbergasted is not the word.

After yesterday’s post I got A LOT of feedback both publically here on the blog and privately in email, text, and Snap.

Those sweetest, kindest, and most awesome comments, emails, etc were all just little blippits of sunshine!  But also warranted a bit of clarification on my end.  I wish to do that today if that’s ok with you!

Divorce isn’t what it was about.  

I am a late product of divorce and boy don’t I know how tough, dirty, and vile that can be!  No, friends, that post yesterday was not intended to make you think I was contemplating divorce.  We are just in that weird period of drifting but not because we are looking to drift – its just because we are (like so many others) under stress both from the things we share and the things we have on our own.  We love each other more than words it is just that constant management, checking in, and making each other a priority that is struggling so incredibly much.  If I could give you an example (that you know I love to give – my weird southern examples that you never thought you would relate to anything in the world) I would say we’re a water hose with a kink in it.  The lawn mower hasn’t got it, there isn’t a blockage, there is just a kink in the line and we need to go knock it out.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with water hoses – they are the things that people hook up to an outdoor water source, this case a spigot, you turn on the spigot and wait fo rhte water to run through the hose.  When it is bent or rather kinked you don’t get water so you straighten it back out so the water will run through smoothly.  Get my example now?

Not everyone here is a no gooder.

It was easier to make friends as a child because children are pretty freaking peaceful and don’t get too out of hand about cliques.  I had a great email that was not capable of me even cutting and pasting to this post because the French was out of control.  But I want to say this – adult women are tough.  Adult women who aren’t very mature are a whole other can of worms.  And yes – they are everywhere.  There are women in this place I love to death and they could pick up the the phone and call me and I would be there for them at the drop of a hat.  I guess those gems are few and far between everywhere.  And it is hard, especially in this century, whoa I sound old – to find women who are not stuck in an 18-24 year old mindset. But you know what?  Sometimes we deal with situations and life in general the way we do to try to protect ourselves and if that means cliques and cattiness then it is what it is.  But YES there are amazing women I know here who I am blessed to know.  I should have written the piece about my one friend a bit differently because you know what?  We all have that ONE friend who is more sister to us than anything else.  (And in some cases they are actual sisters, whoa mind blown!)

This is so common.

That is a direct line from a text.  I love it.  An older reader who is also a blogger texted me that sentence.  She told me that at the same age as I she went through a moment that she stared at everything around her and said, “Are you sure?”  She posed the question as in, “are you sure you didn’t get my path confused with someone else’s?”

As I read comments on the blog and the listened to the Snaps I was like – we’re all going through it in some way, shape, or form.  We’re all mid thirties, we’re all female, some are married/divorced/single, some are mamas of babies and mamas of teens, some are making six figures and others are not making a dime.  But the thing is we’re all connected with this issue of feeling some voids and emptiness.  We’re all looking at ourselves and wondering where the last 35 years went and focusing on the things we never invisioned instead of realizing we’re no where near dead and have a lot of good stuff ahead.

We get down, we beat ourselves up, but if we can make like a person instead of an ostrich we can slide on our sandals and take our lives by storm.

We are never limited.  The only limitation we allow are the ones we put on ourselves.

Do not stop writing.

I made mention that I didn’t go after what I thought I wanted to do with my life because a person told me it was dead (journalism) and that the internet killed it.

Well newspapers may be ancient but the irony is the internet let me keep writing.  NO, I do not get paid but I do have an outlet and the coolest part is that so many of you get giggles from my posts….and that is what matters.

I’m not going to quit writing.  It’s my therapy (and safer than too much Pirate Punch drinking…) it’s my “thang” – and I appreciate the fact I can do it and I can have such amazing people read it and leave me some love and sometimes jump down my throat.

And to Andrea Nine:  One day I will write that book.  And in the front cover I will put: “Andrea told me to.”

Always leave it light.

I hope this clarification post helped you see I’m not on the verge of devastation.  Laura Horton said she was glad I ended so light yesterday.  I’ll never give you a dose of heavy and leave it at that.  That is not my jam, yo!

So yeah…we’re getting a cat.  On Saturday.  You can blame a fabulous mommy friend I have here locally (yes, I said it….I have a fabulous mommy friend) for the cat coming to my home.  My husband fell in love with one of her five (don’t judge) and well that led to us rescuing a cat from a local cat rescue.

I feel a really stupid screenplay coming on regarding this cat.

Calling Hallmark right now to pitch this idea….

Thank you to you all –

Amanda

 

13 thoughts on “Clarification”

  1. Read today’s and yesterday’s posts! Loved both…the reason I was drawn to your blog in the first place is because You Do You!!! Preach girl! Don’t apologize for it and definitely don’t ever stop writing!! Big hugs and virtual cheers!! PS- where would you have wanted to live?!? Boston maybe…by Gronk?!? 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love you!!! I’m just gonna say it: Damn straight adult women are tough but not all and the key is to be around those who lift and you lift me girl. Love everything about you, your courage, your beauty your voice and speaking raw and from the heart. I’m here for you always, I’ll support you in anything you choose to do in blog land and out!!!! My sweet little sissy!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. All I’m gonna say is I just love you and really wish a state wasn’t between us!! I’m so thankful that I “met” you through this blogging world.
    I am so thankful for your honesty!
    Keep on writing girl and leave that sparkle!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. South Carolina always gets in my dang way! For a brief second we contemplated Augusta. Did I say brief second? I am thankful we have met up in this little corner too. You make me smile and life without Trixie posts is no life at all!!!!

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  4. I knew you weren’t talking about the D word. Divorce is not in our vocabulary, either. As far as the cat goes, Stephanie has a car and Wayne hates cats so you knew what hell it was at our house with that situation and a dog. Stephanie’s friend is babysitting the cat until she comes home later this summer.

    Like

  5. I knew what you meant about your marriage and did not need clarification, but I am so glad you wrote this! A lot of my friends with kids your’s age are going through this. Its hard! This is a beautiful post.

    Anyways, you keep being you, that is why I come find you every day! Never stop writing and never stop being a bull no joke. And I hate cats, there I said it. Have a happy day!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Still loving the post and very eagerly nodding my head that we don’t struggle alone. God is so good to us like that. He knew that would really suck.

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  7. Still love the post from yesterday! I feel the exact same way. Yesterday was a great reminder that we all have struggles and we all push through them one day at a time. I am always so thankful to you and your blog and your honesty.

    Like

  8. Love the post from yesterday and today too. Honesty is refreshing in the glossy, picture perfect Instagram world. Knowing that you have a “kink in the hose” is all you need for getting a good start to reconnecting. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

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