On Friday I shared, in my weekly life recap, I had lost out in an opportunity I was confident in gaining. I didn’t go into detail with you about this experience. It was one that actually started in November. Personally, I am a private person and you laugh at that when you think, “She blogs.” But I am private in my endeavors. Today I’m going to let you in a little further and I am doing this in hopes it lets someone know they aren’t alone.
Many months ago – think summer 2016 – I prayed for a chance to return to a more typical working environment but this time to utilize my creative and professional skills. After months, and forgetting that prayer, an email arrived to me and maybe 1000 others.
The job was part-time and basically was what I was looking for! Like exactly! I was overwhelmed. The inquiry process began – number one I read the email four times! Then I emailed my best friend for her thoughts. Then I texted my husband for his thoughts. Then I prayed. I prayed long and I prayed hard and probably got off topic – that’s what happens when I pray. After a day or two I felt the green light was given and I sent over my information.
My first interview was on December 1st and it was before a board. To say I was rattled to be in front of twelve faces I didn’t know would be the understatement of the year! I made my way through the process and was delighted to receive so many words of affirmation after the interview.
Enter confidence. My thank you’s were lifted to the Lord consistently.
A second interview was held the week after Christmas. It was a truly positive experience and even felt a bit comfortable. My excitement when I left hit an all time high.
But then there was silence. Two weeks of it to be exact. I inquired to the interviewer who said they would get back to me. A few days later I read an email that was like a knife to the throat. A simple – call me at your convenience. Intuition and those words are the recipe for, “This isn’t good, Amanda.”
I called the gentleman who led both interviews only to be told the last person I interviewed with, and I quote, “Didn’t like you.” And…”Wants to keep looking.”
A word of advice to anyone reading this that will hire and fire – never ever use the words that someone didn’t like you. It is a tad bit unprofessional! Even if it is truth you should put a little icing on it and maybe a sprinkle or two.
I spent fifteen minutes chatting, smiling, and it was decided that I wasn’t likable. (Talk about a blow to all self esteem!)
This week I continued my study of the Joshua. You know it really is interesting how God works in our own personal worlds and can link us together with leaders from long ago. People we never thought we could relate to!
Joshua was a true follower and listener to the Lord. However, like me, he sometimes failed to inquire to the Lord about everything.
Like Joshua, I inquired prior to applying and prior to a couple of interviews but then decided no more inquiry was needed. Why? Because I felt this job would be an extension of service to the Lord.
Like me, Joshua inquired on the tricky stuff but when the Gibeonites pulled one over on Joshua and asked for peace he said OK. I think this was because he was a little tired of killing people and thought that the Lord would love some peace. It would be a furthering of service to the Lord.
Joshua and I failed.
We failed because we didn’t inquire consistently with the Lord. We made the horrible sin of assuming we were in the right by seeing the things we were doing as honorable to the Lord. The ramifications were that Joshua was duped by the enemy and I was given some treacherous words of being disliked and therefore not worthy of the job.
Joshua’s story moves forward with prosperity. The Gibeonites become water carriers and wood cutters for Israel but they also gain the protection of Israel and find the God of Israel to be a truth.
Joshua persevered on with God’s favor and continued the righteous mission of claiming the land.
My story – well God blessed me too. My heart was hardened towards a few people but after prayer it was softened and after more truth facing I accepted this bit of “defeat” and moved forward with those suspended projects. My calendar suddenly filled back up with work and my heart was completely opened up for love to push the pain of losing out. My mind is so much more aware of how greatly important it is for me to inquire with the Lord on not just the scary, big, or confusing issues – but every issue. I cannot assume that something I feel is for Him is necessarily going to be totally for Him.
He just may have another plan for me. And for you too.
We persevere on.